Finding a lover sounds great, doesn’t it? Although finding someone to go on dates with, kiss, hug, give your heart to and open your life to sounds amazing, it may sound scary, as well.
In today’s dating world, there are so many restrictions and rules. A ‘lover’ is supposed to be romantic, reliable, enticing, sexy, attractive, and everything you have ever dreamed of. A ‘lover’ is supposed to be a perfect person. However, no one is perfect and there is no such thing as a perfect relationship. This means that finding a perfect, flawless lover is impossible.
So, stop looking for the perfect lover. Instead, look for a best friend.
You should be with somebody you can be completely yourself around. You probably want to wake up in the morning, baggy t-shirt on, makeup off, hair all messy around your face, and not feel like you have to be anything you are not.
You probably want somebody to laugh with, make breakfast together and sip wine, stay up late with and talk about your wildest dreams, go on adventures with, and feel like you know everything about each other’s lives.
You probably want somebody you can talk to fearlessly, openly, about your future plans and greatest regrets. You want somebody that you can trust and that’ll be there for you, regardless of what happens. You want somebody you can simply sit on the couch with, without saying anything, and still enjoy each other’s company.
You want a best friend. Somebody you can stay in and watch movies with all night, go out drinking with, or tease. Somebody that’ll give you an honest compliment when you look your best and that’ll honestly tell you when you look like sh*t and should get your butt off the couch.
You want somebody that knows all your proudest moments, inner secrets, and drama. You want somebody that’ll take you to dinner as well as talk about things that matter. You want somebody that’ll not always have to be the one to plan things, be in charge, or pay, but will still do those things from time to time.
You want somebody that’ll make you laugh, piss you off, drive you nuts, but still be your best friend.
As you can see, love is not about finding the perfect lover. It’s all about finding your best friend that you are compatible with on many levels, not only romantically.
You want a best friend — somebody you love, but more importantly, somebody you can truly know. And somebody that knows all your weirdness, your imperfections and flaws, but still chooses to be yours.