Intimacy and sex are two different things. Sex isn’t intimacy. It is only one form of intimate expression.
Intimacy may be a frightening experience. It may be uncomfortable exposing the deepest parts of yourself. Whether it is spiritual or emotional, being intimate with your partner can make you feel vulnerable. Spiritual or emotional intimacy includes sharing something deeply personal. It is about revealing yourself.
Genuine intimacy can only start once you know yourself. You can experience real intimacy if you are connected to your own heart. Then, you can accept you partner as they are.
8 Ways to Increase Intimacy in Your Relationship:
– Practice self-intimacy
Self-intimacy is about identifying your own feelings, paying attention to those feelings, and sharing them with your partner. It is all about getting to know yourself sexually, soulfully, spiritually, physically, emotionally, and mentally.
It is hard to become more open with your partner if you do not know what you want to achieve. So, try to understand yourself and the reasons behind your feelings. You should understand how your feelings affect your own behavior as well as how they affect your partner. You should also learn to have difficult and important interactions without becoming aggressive or defensive. Making the environment between you and your partner a safe place for conversations will significantly deepen your relationship.
If you truly know yourself, you are more likely to have a nourishing relationship.
– Be vulnerable
Everyone has vulnerabilities — it’s actually a part of being human. If you show your vulnerable side, you will build deeper intimacy with your partner. In case they are respectful enough to receive your vulnerabilities with kindness and warmth, and courageous enough to share theirs with you, you’ve gone to the next level.
That sharing of vulnerability will definitely deepen all types of intimacies within your relationship — sexual, romantic, intellectual, spiritual, and psychological. Do not be afraid of losing your partner as you share your vulnerabilities. If doing so results in their leaving, then there was not that much of a relationship.
– Have emotional conversations with your partner
Communication plays an important role in intimacy. You should communicate your needs if they aren’t being met since your partner cannot read your mind.
Having an emotional conversation with them may be difficult, particularly if you lack practice. Remember that it takes time to get comfortable with engaging in emotional conversations.
– Actively listen to them and be fully present
Actively listen to them. It’s the act of hearing their meaning rather than just their words. Do your best to understand the emotions behind what they have to say. In case you aren’t able to do so without more context, you should ask questions, as it means that you want to understand where they are coming from.
In case you find yourself preoccupied with other things when you are with them, try to focus on the present moment. Being present can deepen your connection, because you experience intimacy in the present moment.
– Show compassion
Sometimes, true intimacy can be messy, since the uncut, raw aspects of you and your partner often surface. When it happens, you should have compassion, as you are both doing the right thing based on where you are at, the lessons you should learn, and the growth you should experience.
– Be a comfort
In fact, everyone knows how to treat each other when things are going well. However, when somebody is upset, sad, frustrated or depressed, people try to fix the problem, instead of lend an ear. It goes well for some people, whereas terribly for others. That’s why you should ask them what they prefer. But, you should do so when things are going well.
Ask them how they like to be comforted when times are difficult, and try to show up in that way whenever they go through a tough time.
Although you can’t magically ease their pain, you can be there for them when they are sad.
– Touch them while you are having a conversation
Nonverbal communication makes up more of your interactions compared to verbal communication. Touch can create a physical connection during a conversation. It plays a great role in generating and improving love. If physical affection is an important part of your relationship, you will feel more satisfied in it.
You can kiss your partner on their forehead while saying goodbye for work or you can touch them to their hand while telling them about something exciting.
– Don’t walk away from an interaction still upset
You should never walk away from an interaction still upset. It is important to understand that unresolved, negative emotions may reduce the level of intimacy between you. So, you should end things with a kiss or another kind of physical affection.