Abusers can be all types of people. They can be any social class, sexuality, religion, gender or race.
Emotional abuse can happen to anybody regardless of their financial, social, or educational status. It happens when one person in a relationship tries to control little things, like the way the other person does their hair, what they wear, how they spend their money, etc.
The abusive person typically disguises their abusive behavior as harmless and blames the victim for the strife in the relationship. That’s why the victim has a hard time determining whether or not it is part of a normal relationship.
The victim does not realize they’re involved with somebody that has a deep-seated need to control them.
Unluckily, this type of abuse is often overlooked as there are not any visible marks or bruises on the victim. But, it can gradually eat away at the victim’s self-esteem and confidence.
6 Behaviors Most Abusers Display That Reveal Their True Colors:
– They are initially charming and pretend like everything is normal
Abusers are initially charming. They are polite and delightful to be around. They shower the victim with attention, adoration and praise. Their courtship is intense and sweet filled with phrases like, “I cannot live without you.”
Initially, they pretend like everything is normal. But, they just want to control the victim.
– They seek control
They feel powerless. But, they do not act insecure in order to hide their true selves.
They only want to have power over the victim. They seek control. They want it and crave it and that’s why they will try their best to get it. They may tell the victim whether or not it is OK to talk to somebody else or go somewhere; choose the restaurant the victim eats at; pick out their clothes; etc.
– They do not abuse everybody
Many people do not believe the victims of abuse as they have only had pleasant interactions with the abuser. The truth is that abusers do not abuse everybody. They are actually selective of their victims as if they abuse everybody they meet, nobody will get close enough to them for them to control, manipulate or enact their abuse upon.
That’s why they choose somebody they are close to, such as a family member, a close friend, or a partner to enact their abuse upon.
– They do not abuse all the time
If they abuse the victim all the time, the victim will ultimately seek intervention and end the abuse. They are aware of it, so they abuse in moderation to avoid exposure or detection.
They often start out with small acts of abuse – subtle gaslighting or manipulation – and then build up to a more controlling nature. They also exact outbursts of violence – like breaking things or yelling – and then instantly become loving or nurturing again.
– They are addicted to alcohol or drugs and blame their abusive behavior on the alcohol or drug use
They may be addicted to alcohol or drugs and blame their abusive behavior on the alcohol or drug use. They may say something like, “I was high and I do not remember,” or “I did not know what I was doing, because I was too drunk.”
– They rush into relationships
The abuser may get into a string of failed relationships, or instantly seek out another victim when the first one removes themselves from the situation. They cannot abuse without a victim.
When the victim leaves, they instantly look for another one. They may insist that the new victim move faster than they want to and push them into doing things they are not comfortable with.
Or they may even act as kind and sweet as possible in order to get their previous victim back.