Fear of abandonment often stems from childhood loss, like the loss of a parent due to divorce or death. It may stem from improper emotional or physical care, as well. These childhood experiences may result in a fear of being abandoned or rejected by the loved ones.
Those that experience this kind of fear may put up emotional barriers between themselves and others. It may contribute to trouble connecting with those around them, such as romantic partners, family members, or friends. Women, men or even kids can experience fear of abandonment.
The culprits of this type of fear are many, and often include past emotional or verbal abuse, or emotional trauma. The signs of abandonment fear can be evident. But, they can be mistaken for quirks in somebody’s personality, as well. So, having an ability to identify the signs of abandonment fear in yourself or someone else is the first step towards overcoming it.
Here Are Five Signs That You Are Afraid of Being Abandoned:
– Being concerned that your partner is unfaithful
Being concerned that your partner can become unfaithful every once in a while is quite normal. But, if you are constantly thinking that your partner is unfaithful, you aren’t able to rationalize the thought process.
In case you’re in a constant state of paranoia over the activities of your partner, it may be an indicator of an unhealthy thought process. Being able to communicate openly with your partner may help you overcome this fear.
– Feeling an intense and sudden attachment to someone else
Feeling an intense and sudden attachment to someone else may be a sign of abandonment fear. An immediate attachment may be triggered by abandonment issues, because of the fear of being rejected and alone. In case you usually experience an immediate and intense attachment after meeting a new person, or soon after the end of a relationship, it may be a sign of abandonment fear.
If you see it as a sign of abandonment fear, you may be able to change your behavior, or name the issue so you can ask for help.
– Remaining in a toxic relationship
In case you refuse to leave your partner even if your relationship is toxic, it may be a sign of abandonment fear. The fear of being alone and abandoned drives you to stay in a relationship that’s making you unhappy.
Remaining in an unhealthy relationship may intensify your abandonment issues. Being able to identify when you have stayed in such a relationship long may help you identify unhealthy patterns and overcome the fear.
– Sabotaging your relationship
If you are experiencing fear of abandonment, you may sabotage your relationship even when relationship stress is very low and nothing is actually going wrong. You may pick fights as well as make a big deal out of the few negative things in your relationship.
This is usually a way of justifying your own feelings of abandonment, as in you’re your relationship ends, it is proof to yourself that your partner will always leave you, even if you caused them to leave you in the first place.
In case you think that you are the one that’s picking fights when there’s nothing to fight out, you should ask yourself if you’re being self-sabotaging your relationship.
– Experiencing commitment issues
A serial dater may experience commitment issues, which’s an indicator of a more serious abandonment issue.
If you have fear of abandonment, you may invent reasons to end your relationship. This means that you are justifying your reasons with a circular, self-sabotaging thought process.
Identifying the type of behavior, which coincides with the fear of abandonment, is the first step towards breaking out of the unhealthy behavior. In case you notice these in yourself, you should ask for emotional support, because it can help you heal from what’s triggered the fear of abandonment in the first place.